Wednesday 19 October 2011

Promo

While the news regales us with depressing facts and figures about unemployment being at an all time high, and how it's nigh on impossible for 18-25 year olds to find a job, I've been going against all the statistics and social struggles by landing myself a promotion in the school. Hurrah!

The interview took place yesterday and while the tutor group I support were going through a powerpoint with their form teacher about the diabolical state of employment for young people, and I had to watch their little faces drop and hear questions from little Johnny like, "So will I never get a job even though I work hard at school?" and hoping they won't be fucked like my generation is, I came to appreciate the fact that I even have a job at the moment. Even though it's not always been ideal, I'm lucky enough to be in full-time employment, and yesterday I was even being offered the rare opportunity to progress in my work.

The pressure was on though as I was the only person to be interviewing at the time. The vacancy was initially advertised internally and I was the only existing member of staff to apply. On one had, this might be great because you know you've not got any competition, but on the other hand it's intimidating because you're essentially only up against yourself, so if I didn't get the job it would come down to the fact that I was just shit and there could be no excuse of "that person was better or more qualified than me".

Luckily though the latter didn't happen and I have now officially gone from being a Teaching Assistant to a Higher Learning Teaching Assistant for English. "Ooohh, sounds fancy and full of responsibility," you may say, and you'd be right. I now get to deliver lessons and actually teach small groups of students in withdrawal classes. I'll have to plan the lesson, think of innovative and engaging ways to teach Shakespeare and the like, and then actually full on educate young people. That's pretty exciting, and the best bit is I'll be getting my own classroom and I'll get to write on the whiteboard as much as I want!!!

To me being able to write on a board is the most exciting thing, because it means you're really, actually a teacher. It's a privilege that only teacher-type people get to do. When I was growing up and I used to play 'school' with my imaginary friends (don't judge me, I'm not mad) then there would always be a heavy focus on doing lots, and lots, and lots, and lots of writing on the board, which back then was plenty of A4 bits of paper blu-tacked to my wardrobe doors.

Later, when I got to go into the primary school my Dad was headteacher of, I would indulge my urge of white board writing by going into the classrooms, finding a board marker and pretending to take a lesson, again with lots and lots of white board writing. Sometimes I'd even ask my Dad's colleagues if I could leave maths questions on the board for the kids to do on Monday morning. I should emphasise at this point that I too was still at primary school. It's not like I was 20-something and getting my kicks from going into an empty school at the weekends, pretending to teach make-believe classes and stuff. That would be crazy.

Writing on the board definitely gives a sense of authority in the classroom and that if you write something on the board it must mean it's a really important point to have made it onto the board. Obviously there are other really important things I'll need to do when teaching a lesson as a HLTA, like making sure the kids understand the work they're doing, keeping them motivated, planning interesting activities, but if I'm honest the kid in me will be concerned most about how good my handwriting looks on the board and getting an array of colourful board markers for every occasion!

RoseC -x-

Wednesday 12 October 2011

Moral dilemmas

Ok, so there are going to be a few disturbing topics discussed here this evening. If you're of a sensitive nature or easily enraged then I suggest you stop reading now. I'll give you a few dots to represent a 'moment' for you to decide that.

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Lovely, so if you've reached the bottom of the dots you've decided to stay with me. Well done and may I commend you on your bravery because some of what I'm about to say ain't gonna be pretty and to be fair it's actually taking a lot of courage for me to go into this as I could loose a lot of friends. I'm just going to come out and say it and I can only hope that you don't judge me too harshly...

Last night I watched Katie Price's, Signed by Katie, and sort of enjoyed it.

Wow, I can see the FaceBook friend count going down already! Jokes...

Really though, having this programme on my TV is my first moral dilemma of the evening. I can't stand shows that objectify people in a shallow, demeaning way and so I'm horrified that I sat and watched it. I get angry and often shout at the TV at shows like Next Top Model, X-Factor or Paris Hilton's Best Friend (or whatever it was called) because all of those shows objectify (usually) women and is basically people - not usually the brightest of people - standing in front of strangers and allowing the 'panel' to judge them on looks and appearances alone, and continue to stand there and take the barrage of abuse from people who, if we're honest, are just as fame hungry and probably as insecure as the 'contestants' they're 'judging'.

To briefly fill you in on the premise of the show and to put it in all it's shallow context, it's basically Katie (Jordan) Price and two of her cronies travelling around the country, setting up in shopping centres (hmm, classy) and getting men and women to strut out in front of them in swimwear and then the three witches decide on looks and 1 minute conversation if this person is marketable and can make KP more money and if she thinks they can then they get put through to Boot Camp. Now there's a formula that sounds familiar.

At least it doesn't dress it up and is honest enough to admit that Jordan is only after money and the limelight, but has been disguised - in my opinion - to look like she's passing on all of her "worldly business woman" advice. It's fine that some of you may argue she's a real business woman that's built her 'empire' on not a lot other than appearance and salacious stories for gossip mags. Good for her. Problem now is that she's past it. We're fed up of her, her career is pretty much baron and so now she's trying to latch on to someone else, younger, better looking, less botoxed (perhaps) and I'm sure preferably less intelligent so all those "marketable" qualities can line her pockets slightly thicker than her own. Ahh the selfishness of show business.

So anyway, I watched this half-hour debacle, mouth agape as I just couldn't believe some of the comments that the less than perfect panel were imparting on people. Gems such as, "you walk like a brickie" or implying not too subtly to one bloke that he's not got a pretty face and there were few other ways to make him successful. Happy, feel-good TV right?

PAH!

The fact I was watching this was only moral dilemma number one. The second problem came during the show when two, young (but I'm assuming over 18) twin sisters rocked up. Now, I know that there may be some people who read this blog, that I used to work with, that may not agree in any way, shape or form with the issue I'm about to raise. And that's fine, because I know you're all really dirty old men ;-)

My problem is that as soon as these twin sisters turned up, and they were very cute and pretty, the faces of KP and her henchmen lit up. "Wow I can really see lots of potential and things I could do with you," exclaimed Katie (or something to that effect - didn't have dictaphone to hand at the time). The twins seemed happy too as they screeched, "we want to be you Katie!!!" Each to their own, but the creepy bit was when they both came out in matching, sexy, underwear and just how that would be marketable doesn't take much imagination.

Many blokes, I'm sure would lap that stuff up and I'm sure there have been plenty of sets of twins in adult magazines, but to me I think it's a little bit incestuous and very wrong. My skin crawled at the thought of these girls possibly doing topless shoots - of which there's every possibility considering Jordan's background - with each other, looking alluring and sexy with their come to bed eyes and the suggestion of a menage a trios.

Really, are these girls comfortable with the idea of having sex with each other? I'm not saying they will, it's the audience's fantasy that is being satisfied, but if I had a twin sister there wouldn't be any monetary figure in the world that would persuade me to appear as if I have, or would ever, have a sexual relationship with my sibling.

Overall we can surmise it was an uncomfortable half hour viewing and no matter how much curiosity I have to see how the fame game will play out for these poor, unfortunate souls, I won't be tuning in.

RoseC -x-  

Thursday 6 October 2011

From within a panda hat

I'm feeling far too excitable for a Thursday night, especially as there hasn't been any alcohol consumed. After my productive day yesterday I feel like I should be on a roll on the job front and feel all positive and upbeat about it.

Well hello happiness. I've not seen you for a while.

I'm feeling so chipper that I've even donned my happy panda hat - a birthday gift from a friend that has successfully managed to turn me into the kind of person I once despised. Seeing people walk down the streets in stupid animal hats made me tut and shake my head, but now I have one of my own I heart it. Oh how I'm so easily swayed.

Anyway, I digress. So I had a good day at work (bar a nose bleed first lesson, a remnant of all the nose blowing I did yesterday. Gross) and came home full of beans ready to jump on some more applications. After scouring all the lovely sites I signed up to it quickly became apparent that I have actually applied for all the suitable jobs that I can apply for right now. How frustrating.

I've been thinking that I'd like to set myself a target of applying for at least two jobs a night. Is that unrealistic? As there wasn't anything new to apply for this evening I looked back over the jobs that didn't first grab my attention on yesterday's look. So there's one that I'm going to go for that's writing for free, but getting some of my writing published on the web still. Good for the portfolio and christ my imagination is crying out for something to get my teeth into. Also after looking at the site it reminds me a lot of the university magazine that we put together for our third year project; a slightly obscured view of the world from a young persons point of view (and I do consider myself a young person and I have a railcard to prove it).

The other is a job as an entertainment writer for a well known news site. Upon second glance it looks like a really good opportunity: working for a large interweb news site, based in London and the salary isn't too bad. There are also worse topics to write on than entertainment, so it's quite an eye catcher, especially as everyone thinks writing about the world of celebrity is just as glamorous as being in that world yourself. It's not, obviously, but in the world of young, upstart journos like myself getting a spot on an entertainment desk is a coveted position.

"So, obviously Rose you've put your application in for such a fab sounding job?" 

Err, well no, actually I didn't. Or haven't. There's one little thing holding me back. The application requests that along with your CV and examples of your work, you also write an 800 word feature on the turbulent year that Cheryl Cole has had. Hmm. Now, in fairness I have been chewing it over all today as to what angle I might take. Obviously I wouldn't go with the, "poor Chezza she's been shit on again which she totes doesn't deserve because she's the most amazing woman ever, with amazing L'Oreal hair, and an awesome singing voice that it doesn't matter she's not released anything in the last year and why is everyone always so horrible JUST LEAVE HER ALONE!! SHE JUST HAVING A TOUGH TIME OKAY?!?!"

Yeah, basically I'm not going to kiss any celebs arse. Let alone hers. I'm not really a fan of her music. I really dislike X-Factor (to the point housemates throw me out of the living room when it's on because I can't keep my mouth shut) and I don't care whether she gets back with Ashley or not. They sound as bad as each other. Then there's the terrible hairspray advert where she tries to do every do, but ends up looking more trashy than classy. I was sick to the back teeth too, hearing all her whinging and moaning about getting a place on American X-Factor. Being promised it, and then dropped like a cold bag of sick by Cowell only to be offered the presenters job, but she wasn't even sure of that as she came up against the might that is Steve Jones - ya'know, the Welsh T4 presenter chap - and I can't imagine he's better know than Cheryl, especially as she's buddies with Will.I.Am. Ouch. Yep, not quite as 'big' as you first though are you Chezza?....Awkward.....

Either way we can surmise that her year has indeed been turbulently shit to the point that it's now being banded around in the weeklies that she has to "relaunch herself" because her career is in such tatters. Bull shit, she's still on the covers of most the trash mags and raking it in from one deal or another.

*Sigh* I think what we can also surmise from these last couple of paragraphs is that I have very little sympathy with celebs and therefore I conclude that the coveted role of entertainment writer should go to someone else. If I think trying to empathise with Cheryl Cole is hard then we can safely say that feeling sorry for and going through all the boos and hoos with the likes of TOWIE or Made in Chelsea 'celebs', or worse having to write positively about Justin 'fuckwit' Beiber, would actually kill me. My boyfriend would definitely never look me in the eye again and I can't say I'd blame him.

It's days like today when I think about what I can write, that really makes me miss the world of filth. Now that I could do.

RoseC -x-   

Wednesday 5 October 2011

Being oddly productive

I'm ill. I've got this stupid cold, sore throat bug that seems to have been going around school over the last week or so and had so far avoided it. I realised I'd been caught by this bug yesterday morning when I woke up and felt like my throat was on fire. The rest of me was alright though so I still went to work and waged war with this bug. Determined not to let it win I fought it (I think gallantly) with cough medicine, pain killers and shit loads of tissue, but when I woke up this morning with my sinuses throbbing and my voice box sounding like it had been replaced with that of a frog's and said frog was continually striking matches against my throat every time I tried to talk (as in it really hurt), I admitted defeat to the bug.

The reaction from work when I called in was quite astonishing too, as I got a, "Bloody hell Rose you sound rough as." That's not always what an ill person wants to hear because it just makes you feel more pity for yourself. I know I'm ill. I can feel that I'm ill. Please lets not be more dramatic than we need to be about this.

It's an odd ill too because it's literally all in my head. No, I don't mean that I'm crazy and imagining I'm sick, I mean it's all in my throat and nose, so the rest of me feels fine, I just didn't think it would be a good idea to go into school and cough all over the little darlings. It's tough enough as a TA to get the kids to listen to you on a normal day, to go in there diseased with no voice means that you would be ripped limb from limb like a diseased invalid and they'd hold you responsible the next time they get ill even if it's a month down the road. Kids never forget and it's just not worth the humiliation.

Having made my executive, and considerate/caring, decision to stay away from school today, but not feeling so ill that I'm bed ridden, rather than sit on the sofa and numb my brain with insufferable daytime TV, I've put my day to good use. Since having a bit of time off from the ruthless world of job searching and having turned 25, I am now ready to approach the search once more, trawl the job sites and write the endless number of covering letters to pimp myself out with a renewed enthusiasm. I've even joined a few recruitment sites to help me find the perfect media job. I like the idea of having little career pixies dashing around trying to find your ideal job so they can earn their commission, which in the job pixie's case would be a new pair of hip 'n' trendy pixie boots or a new hat. And when they found the right career for dithering numpties like myself that haven't had any career direction for months on end, they would do little star jumps of joy and cheer and toot miniature party blowers.

Hmm, perhaps the illness has gone to my head in more mental ways than I first thought....

Either way, I know I've not moved hugely on from square one in regards to getting myself back into the media sphere, but at least now I'm not feeling all agitated and grumpy about doing it. Perhaps I was spurred on by an email I received the other week from a job I'd applied for as a Junior Writer. Granted, it was a bit odd and there were mixed emotions because I got turned down for this job that I really wanted so was a bit disappointed, but unlike many media companies, this one actually took the time to get back to me and I found that refreshing and positive. Also they said:

'I would, however, like to take a moment to let you know you were one of those we considered to be in the small top band of submissions.' 

See, that's nice. I was in the "small top band" and so that means that I'm not as shit as I was beginning to think I might be! Even though it was a rejection email there was still something positive in there that I've since found very motivational in my quest of finding another job. Not hearing back from places for months on end is fucking demoralising, so even this little pick me up has set me back on the right track...I hope.

Nice to end on a positive note I think. Apart from the being ill bit of course. Oh and I managed to slice the top of my finger open today while cutting a bagel. I feel there's a lesson to be learnt here: that cutting a bagel and trying to sneeze at the same time doesn't work!

Till next time,

RoseC -x-